A New Year: Less Grudge, More Gratitude


This strange “chart” has been floating around Facebook for a few days. I’m not sure where it came from originally or what exactly its purpose is, but I felt it was interesting from a positive thinking vs. negative thinking perspective. I’m thankful that I’m about 98% on the green/abundance side, especially in the matters of embracing change, setting goals and to-dos, treating others well (complimenting, giving credit, sharing and encouraging success), continuously learning and accepting responsibility for my failures. That last one is fairly new and hasn’t always been easy, but “putting it all out there” on a blog over the past few years has been helpful in not allowing me to sweep things under the rug, as is the usual custom where I come from. Perhaps that’s what the chart means by comparing “keep a journal” vs. “say they keep a journal but really don’t” – better wording may have been “self-reflects” vs. “refuses to examine the self.”

While I don’t posses the nastier traits listed on the yellow/scarcity side, there’s definitely a couple I need to rid myself of, specifically “talking about people” and “holding a grudge.” Oh boy, can I hold a grudge! And while that’s something I fully intend to work on, it will be more for my own sanity than to benefit those who have wronged me. Forgiveness certainly doesn’t mean that I’ll ever allow others to treat me poorly, or to receive the honor of my friendship and family loyalty when they haven’t earned it. It just means that I will more swiftly recognize the unhappiness in their lives and try to respond with the sympathy they need, instead of with the negativity that they expect and feed off of. And while I don’t expect them to ever recognize their own faults (that would require more self-awareness and humility than they are capable of), I will not enable their behavior by pretending it doesn’t exist. They will have no power over me. A good friend of mine said that forgiveness should be called for-GIFT-ness, since it’s a gift you give yourself. And I certainly deserve that gift.

Over the next year, I will also be focusing on experiencing and expressing more gratitude for the wonderful things, and people, that exist in my life. This is where my energy should go, where it is appreciated and deserved. It is my choice who and what I surround myself with, and I will continue to responsibly make those decisions to ensure my happiness and well-being during this new year. It’s interesting to look back at where I was, mentally and emotionally, at this time last year, and to acknowledge how far I’ve come. So many positive things happened for me once I removed myself from a negative relationship/situation that I had allowed myself to be in for far too long. I can only assume the same will happen in the next year as I move away from similar relationships/situations and towards that which I deserve.

Happy New Year, everyone! May it bring you good health, happiness, and all the GIFTS that you deserve!

Edited to add a couple related internet tidbits: Purpose Fairy just posted a wonderful article called 3 Easy Steps to a Clean Heart, MWF Seeking BFF lists “Cut someone out of my life who isn’t good for me” in her New Year’s Resolutions and thnx4.org offers an online gratitude journal.

2 responses to “A New Year: Less Grudge, More Gratitude

  1. Pingback: The Grudge Monster | cheratomo·

  2. Pingback: A New Year: Increasing Empathy | A Green(ish) Life·

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