My first Mothers Day was just all right. Not the most wonderful day (in fact, it started off fairly crappy), but I did manage to turn my mood around mid-day by enjoying some much needed time outside with James. Much needed and much missed.
I had my heart set on a nature walk for Mothers Day, and thought that James might like it also. Well, he most certainly did NOT want to be contained in the Ergo that he used to love…the only logical choice to venture into the forest. Not to be deterred, I loaded James into his stroller, wheeled him down the seasonal road, then carried (all 23ish lbs of) him to my usually peaceful perch. Where he preceded to fuss….and fuss.
So back out of the woods, into the stroller, and we returned to the house. But I would not accept defeat: I grabbed the picnic blanket and set us up under a tree on the lawn and we enjoyed some NATURE, dammit!
I used to take a lot of nature walks, both alone and with Butch. But the intense sciatica towards the end of my pregnancy made walking (and sitting, and lying down, and…) unbearable. Then James was born and there was the recovery, then winter came…and took forever to leave.
I remember desperately wanting to wander the woods when my MIL was visiting around my birthday. I started to head down the seasonal road only to literally be stopped by a WALL of impassable snow. Having no snow shoes, all I could do was gaze wistfully at what surely would bring me some inner peace.
Now that it’s apparently summer, we’ve been taking some family walks down our street, but I’ve been itching to visit my favorite wooded perch. The last time I sat on that secluded rock I was roughly one week away from meeting James. The Bun is now 7 months old. That’s a loooong time to go with the only “me” time being work and my daily shower!
And while I ended up having a nice little Mothers Day outside with the Bun, the franticness leading up to that calm moment made something very clear: I need to figure out how to blend the old me (my hobbies, interests and independence) with the new me (my deep love, responsibilities and precious time). I need to get a complete ME back.
I have no solid solution as of now, but looking for inspiration in articles about finally finding time for yourself and taking care of yourself and expressing boundaries seems like a good place to start…
A Green(ish) Life 